New jokes (that'll be old soon)

A judge in California ruled that schools can teach yoga. He said yoga isn't always a religious practice, and doesn't threaten the separation of church and state. Although like church, you should go once a week, but don't. A would-be bank robber in New York was arrested with a to-do list in his pocket, which included the words: "rob bank". In his defense, he said he rarely gets to everything on those lists.

A university in England has built a talking cigarette pack that tells you to quit. Users wish they could turn it off, because nothing kills the mood after sex like a robot voice saying "big mistake."

A maid in China faces jail after urinating in her boss' tea. The boss was furious, telling reporters "if I want the taste of pee in my mouth, I buy Mountain Dew."