Obama visited Nelson Mandela's former prison cell yesterday. "Most fun I've had in months," he said. An airport screener at JFK accidentally emailed a picture of his genitals to his co-workers. He won't be fired, because bosses feel bad the tube was small enough to take in his carry-on.
A woman has found a cache of anti-tank missiles while cleaning an old shed in Virginia. She said she was clueless how they got there, but it explains why she's never had a tank problem.
Monsters University will be followed by "Monsters Grad School", where Mike and Sulley tell freshmen they're poets and give them chlamydia.
The E.U. is outraged America hacked into its network. But they should have picked a better password than "welovecheese".
The Gay Pride parade took place in New York yesterday, followed by the lesser known "Asexual Quiet Satisfaction of a Good Book Stroll".