Anthony Weiner is ahead in the polls to be New York's next Mayor. Rival Christine Quinn dismissed the news, saying "there's only one poll that matters: the stiff one you tweeted everyone." New England Patriots star Aaron Hernandez is charged with one murder and is now a suspect in two more. He's now the biggest killer in the NFL, after Parkinson's.
Edward Snowden is spending a fifth day in the transit section of Moscow Airport, fleeing U.S. espionage charges. If the Americans catch him, Snowden fears they'll either water-board him, or worse, offer him more Sbarro's.
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is going to be a grandfather. He doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's healthy and under 16 ounces.
Google is developing a video game console. It's going to be called Wii... know all your secrets so buy it or else.
A New York man was thrown out of a strip club this week for wearing his Google Glasses. "It's a real threat to privacy," said one stripper, as she mashed her buttocks into Bob from sales.
Simon Cowell is making a talent show in Afghanistan. He hopes to topple its current #1 show: "Law and Order: Can We Have Some."